


Love Changes Everything

by LisaB1991



Category: Suits (TV)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-08-21
Updated: 2014-08-21
Packaged: 2018-02-14 04:12:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2177427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LisaB1991/pseuds/LisaB1991
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>”You have no idea what it is, to have been a fraud, and have to start all over. What's even worse, is that I'm going back to the place where I first learned that I could be more than a lowdown potdealer.. Because it's the place where I fell in love. Madly, deeply, and hopelessly. And I can't get rid of my feelings Harvey, if I keep seeing the one person that has caused all these feelings, on a day-to-day basis. Because, really, Harvey? Despite everything that happened between us, and all the time that has passed, those feeling are still there, deep down. They're a part of me, and I can't get rid of them, even though I know it's way out of line if I give in to my feelings..”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love Changes Everything

The day after Mike got fired by Jonathan Sidwell, Rachel reluctantly told him about her moment of weakness with Logan Sanders. He felt betrayed, beyond angry, and cursed himself for being so naïve. He should have seen this coming, he should have paid more attention. But he had been too focused on the deal, too busy outthinking Harvey, that he had dismissed his feelings of slight mistrust to plain old jealousy.

 

Rachel was in tears, Mike remained silent and stiff, as if he had been struck by lightning. This wasn't happening to him. Not with Rachel, not them. This was one of those stupid dreams where the alarm clock should be going off right at this exact moment, thus revealing it had all been a bad dream, nothing to worry about. Except, there were no alarms going off, except for the alarm bells in his head. This was it. His world collapsed, his life raft had been knocked away from him. This was the end. He had nothing left, but a small part of his honor.

 

Suddenly, he came to himself again, and rapidly turned towards the door, while grabbing his jacket from a nearby chair. “When I get back, I expect you to be gone. You can come pick up your things later.. Right now, I need you to leave this place.”

 

Rachel made an attempt to come after him, her hands grabbing for his wrist, but he jerked his hand away. “Mike, please..”, she pleaded with him, but it was no use. His hard, unbending blue eyes gazed down on her, his lips a tight line. She couldn't tell what he was thinking, or what he was going to do, and maybe that was for the best. “Rachel! I don't want to hear it! Now get out!” And as he yanked the door open, she fled outside, towards the elevators, not daring to look back. She had betrayed him, and this was the price she'd have to pay.

 

Twenty minutes later found Mike barging up the stairs towards Logan's front door. He nearly slammed on the door instead of knocking, and was kind of surprised when the door opened almost immediately, despite the late hour. Before Logan had the time to recover from his surprise of seeing Mike Ross standing on his doorstep, he was immediately pushed inside his living room by the younger man, who was obviously seething with rage.. And he had a feeling he knew what the cause was for his rage.

 

As he raised his hands to avoid any kind of non-verbal conflict, he was unable to catch the first blow that went straight for his left cheekbone. Recovering quickly, he bent and caught Mike’s waist, tackling him to the ground. What followed, was a brief and harsh struggle, in which both men shoved their elbows into each other’s ribcages, threw punches at each other’s noses, and basically tried to hit each other where it hurt most. Once Mike heard a satisfying crunch, he knew he had just broken the other man’s nose. But he wasn’t done with him yet.

 

At some point, Mike had managed to get up, and before his opponent had managed to get on both his feet as well, he lunged at him once again an kicked him in the stomach, the impact made the other man slide across the room, until he came to a halt against a chair leg. While wiping some of the blood from his swollen lip, Mike came closer to the man who had obviously given up. Logan Sanders had his eyes shut, blood came trickling down his nose, down his chin. His skin was red, no doubt a couple of nasty bruises would be showing on his arrogant face the following morning, not to mention his eventual hunched posture, because he was sure those ribs would be hurting like a bitch. Been there, done that. “You stay the hell away from her.” And all of a sudden, he was experiencing some sort of déjà vu; all he could see was Tess’ husband’s face, his eyes f illed with uther mistrust, hatred and disgust. No doubt his own eyes mirrored his. So this is how it felt.. and without giving any more attention to the man who lay coughing in front of him on the floor, he turned around and stormed out the door, suddenly in need for some fresh air.

 

Mike, at a loss about what to do next, trudged through the streets of New York. He was not ready to go back yet to their apartment, to confront his demons. He needed a drink, and not just some cheap beer. No, he was in desperate need for something stronger. So after fifteen minutes of aimles wandering, he suddenly found himself in front of Harvey’s front door. Just as he was about to raise a fist to knock on the door, the door suddenly opened, and revealed a casually dressed Harvey on the other side of the doorstep. Clearing his throat, unable to look the older man in the eyes, Mike had an enormous fascination for his shoes. “I.. I didn’t know where else to go..” His voice sounded alien, tired and weak, even to him.

 

Harvey nodded, and stepped aside for the younger man, allowing him to get in. After silently cloing the front door behind Mike, he wordlessly followed him towards the living room, and watched Mike slump on one of his couches. Frowning, Harvey turned around towards the liquor cabinet, pouring both of them a generous amount of whisky.

 

They sat there for some twenty minutes, in companiable silence, despite the grave situation Harvey was sure he would learn about rather soon, he just needed to give the younger man some space to think things through. He had immediately sensed something was wrong the moment he had heard the elevator doors opposite his front door slide open. He had received a text from Donna, fifteen minutes prior. He wasn’t sure about what exactly was going on, but all he knew was that Mike and Rachel had had a fight, and that he had sent her away, resulting into Rachel calling Donna for help.. So Rachel went to her best friend to seek comfort, and it was only logical of Mike to come to Harvey, despite their differences and the hard times they had experienced in the past few months. Harvey had meant it, the other day, when he said that Mike was his guy. Heck, it was the first time he ever said it out loud, and the frist time he actually showed that he cared. And he did, he really did.

 

Especially now, seeing the kid sitting opposite from him, shaken, beaten up, the anger radiating from him in waves. Judging his cut lip and shaking hands, he must have been in a fight, and for all we knew, Rachel had something to do with this. And then it all made sense. The thought made him sick. Rachel must have cheated on him with Logan Sanders. No doubt that’s why she spent those extra twenty hours with him last week. Son of a bitch.

 

And just as he raised his eyes to look at Mike, Mike bent forward, putting his ebows on his knees and placing his forehead in his hands. “I know it now, man,” he whispered with a broken voice. “I know what it feels like, to witness your whole world shattering around you, while you try so hard to hold on to it. I’m not proud to say it, but I guess I’m feeling now what your father must have felt.. I mean, you always think: ‘that shit, that’s not gonna happen to me’, and for a moment, I thought I had it all figured out. I had a job, an amazing girlfriend, my life was exactly how I wanted it to be. But now, I’m as miserable as I was the day before I met you; no job, no girlfriend, no purpose.”

 

Harvey sighed deeply, at a loss about what to say, or what to do. All he knew, was that Mike needed him now, maybe more than ever. So without a word, he set his glass back on the coffeetable, and stood, moving towards the couch in front of him, sitting right next to Mike. What he did next was perhaps somewhat uncharacteristic to him, but he did it nonetheless without any thought; he placed his arm around Mike’s shoulders and pulled him closer to rest against him.

 

“Mike, I understand how you must feel, but..” gazing into the distance, unsure about what to say.

 

“Please don’t say that everything’s going to be fine, Harvey,” Mike’s voice pleaded, muffled because his face was pressed into Harvey’s neck. “Because I really don’t want to hear that right now. I’m a wreck, I can’t handle that.”

 

“I take you went to visit the scumbag and beat him to pieces?” Mike snorted, and lifted his head enough to be able to look at the older man. “Something like that, yeah. Almost shred him to pieces, but for now I’m satisfied with some ugly bruises and a broken nose. Maybe some bruised ribs.” Harvey chuckled and carefully patted him on the back. “Good boy.” Gracefully, Harvey untangled himself from his former associate, and stood up. “I’m going to grab you an icepack for.. Everything”, he added, gesturing in the general direction of Mike’s slightly swollen face.

 

When Harvey returned to the couch, Mike had turned around and was lying down, eyes closed. He quickly opened his eyes when he heard Harvey approach, and tried to sit up, but moved too abruptly, which caused his tired muscles to protest. “Yeah sure, go ahead and make yourself comfortable,” Harvey said sarcastically, though good-naturedly. “Lie down, and press this to your face,” and as he handed the younger man the pack of ice, who took it gratefully, he sat down on the coffee table, hands clasped in front of him. “Anything you need, kid?”

 

Mike blinked as he caught the worried tone in Harvey’s voice, but recovered quickly. “Nah, nothing a good booze and some ice won’t fix. I’ll be fine Harvey, thanks for everything”, and with that Mike tried to get up from the couch, getting ready to leave, but he was stopped by Harvey, who put a gentle yet firm hand on his chest. “And where do you think you’re going, huh?” Just as Mike opened his mouth to reply, he immediately closed it again when Harvey continued, undisturbed. “You’re not leaving in this state, Michael. It’s late, you’re not thinking straight, and you’re hurt. You can stay here for the night, if you’d like. The guest room’s down the hall, to your left. It has an en-suite bathroom, make yourself at home. If you need anything, my room’s over there,“ Mike followed his gaze across the room, towards the large master bedroom. “Now, I’m going to call it a night, I have to get back at the office by seven, and you better try and get a good night’s sleep as well.” With a final nod, Harvey left Mike alone in the spacious livingroom. It was very kind of Harvey to make him an offer like that, and it was very tempting. He longed for a nice, soft bed, one which didn’t hold any memories of him and Rachel… That f inal thought made him flee towards the guest room, and once he was inside, he made sure to not completely close his door. He didn’t know what it was, it’s not like he felt unsafe in Harvey’s condo, it’s just that he felt uneasy being here, despite Harvey’s kind words and manners. Maybe it was best not to think too much about it, and just take Harvey’s advice and try and get some sleep. Not bothering to brush his teeth or to search the drawers of the large wooden closet for anything to wear, he collapsed into the large, comfortable bed, enjoying the sell of lavender and lilac. The beige sheets felt cool under his warm skin, and soon he found himself drifting off to a restless sleep.

 

The following morning he woke up to see bright sunlight cascading into his room. Disorientated, he looked around the room, but didn’t see anything that looked even remotely familiar. There were nog personal belongings here, no pictures or paintings. All there was, was a spacious bed, a large wooden closet, and two nightstands, containing two black and white bedside lamps, and an alarm clock. Shit, was it really five past ten? Not that he cared, because he basically had nowhere he needed to be right now. As he pushed himself up on his elbows, his hand caught something wet and slippery. Looking down in bewilderment, he noticed he had a pack of water lying by his side; and then it all made sense: he remembered now. He was at Harvey’s place, Harvey had offered him a place to stay, after sharing a drink together. He also had given him a pack of ice to cool and try to reduce the swelling of his face. It was all really, really nice of Harvey, but why had he let him sleep in so late? As he got up and moved to the door, he saw the door was closed. Obviously, Harvey had been in his room, to check on him, because Mike was sure he had left the door open for a bit, before he went to sleep.

 

He decided, against his better judgement, to walk around the condo for a bit later. Not in a snooping kind of way, but to.. just to find out more about Harvey and the person that he really was. He had suspicions before, of course, but after last night, Mike was sure that Harvey cared about him. But first, he had to go and use the bathroom. The bathroom was, just like Harvey had said, directly next to the guestroom. Mike’s bathroom in his previous apartment back in Brooklyn had been beyond small, his current bathroom was a lot more bigger than that, but this.. Wow. This was something completely different. Almost as big as the bedroom itself, the white and black tiled bathroom was spacious enough to contain a large walk-in spa shower, a bathroom sink with marble countertops, just like the tub deck of the bathtub, which was large enough for four adults, at least, to fit in there. The bathroom floor was covered with beautiful glass mosaic tiles, which gave it a very lavish effect. The room itself was luxurious, but not bombastic. Still, it took Mike’s breath away, and he felt really out of place as he walked cautiously across the beautiful mosaic tiles towards the toilet. After using it, he moved towards the bathroom sink. What he saw in his reflection in the mirror, made his breath hitch. He really looked like shit. He had somedried blood on his lip and chin, he had a bruise right under his right eye, and his eyes were red rimmed.

 

Bending down, he turned the faucet open and splashed some water on his face. The cool water seemed to help revive him somewhat. He was hungry. He needed something to eat. Eager to do so, Mike strode from the bathroom, through the guest room, towards the kitchen. When he passed the breakfast bar, he saw a note neatly folded, lying there, waiting for him. Mike saw his name scribbled on top of it, and hastily unfolded it, his eyes scanning its contents, before he read it out loud to himself.

 

scanning its contents, before he read it out loud to himself. “Mike, I had to leave for the office earlier than anticipated. Decided to let you rest, seeing you obviously needed it. There’s some fresh orange juice in the fridge, along with some bagels. I left you a detailed manual for the coffee maker - see if you’re smart enough to f igure it out. When you leave, lock the door behind you, there’s a spare key waiting for you on the coffeetable. If you need anything, call me, and try not to get yourself into trouble. -H.”

 

Mike coudn’t help but chuckle at that last sentence. There was clearly an invisible ‘or else’ in there, but Harvey had obviousy decided against it to actually write it down. Thankful, he walked over to the fridge and opened it. Harvey was right, the fresh juice was there, and it smelled delicious. Good thing Mike was starving from thirst, so he opened multiple cupboards until he found a longdrink glass, and filled it to the rim with orange juice. After he drank that, he made himself a bagel with egg and bacon, and poured himself another glass of orange juice.

 

After he had finished his breakfast, he went to the bathroom and took a long, hot shower. Afterwards, he felt somewhat refreshed, despite everything that had happened to him in the past twelve hours or so. Life was a bitch, he was fully aware of that. When he was dressed once again, he walked aimlessly around Harvey’s condo. It was large, filled with all kinds of expensive art and records, and it was just like Harvey, in so many ways. Distant, yet approachable. Unbending, yet radiating with safety, which was something Harvey would never admit. Chuckling, he stepped closer to the wall, which held dozens of shelves, containing countless records. Near the corner, next to the window, there was a large cardboard box, which looked familiair. And then he knew; those were the master tapes he bought before Harvey had had the chance; Gordon Specter’s master tapes. Beside the box, he saw a music-stand, containing an old, but beautifully looking saxophone. Mike was not someone with much knowledge about musical instruments, so he had no idea what type it was. Probably an alto, because it was one of the most common types, but he honestly had no clue. He moved closer to it, and almost reverently touched the cold instrument. And just as he was about to stoop to get a better look at it, a phone went off.

 

But it wasn’t his cell phone that rang - it was Harvey’s wireless home telephone. Seriously, how many people still had these things? As he stumbled across the room, he f inally managed to find the phone. He reached out to pick it up, but suddenly hesitated. He was basically a stranger in another man’s house. Who knew who was actually on the other end of the line? So he checked the display to see who was calling. Harvey. He must have figured Mike was still there. Perhaps he wanted to check on him. Without hesitation, Mike picked up the phone.

 

“Hello?” Big mistake.

 

“So I see you’re snooping around, huh? Don’t you know it’s very impolite to pry, especially when the master of the house is not present?”

 

Mike had a hard time swallowing. Shit. Harvey had been so hospitable to him, he didn’t want Harvey to think he was stealing from him, or something like that.

 

“Harvey, I-”

 

“Don’t say it, kid,“ Harvey was chuckling. Thank God. “I’m just messing with you. Listen, I had a talk with Jessica this morning, and I have something I need to discuss with you. So can you meet me at the office in, say, twenty minutes?”

 

Mike didn’t know what to say - this was a completely different side of Harvey, one which he wasn’t accustomed to. He was polite, didn’t bark out orders to him.

 

“You’re not sick, are you?”

 

“Why?”

 

“No, nothing. I’ll be there in twenty minutes, I’ll meet you at the elevators.”

 

And with that, they hung up. As he busied himself cleaning up his things, Mike received a text from Harvey, which made him laugh. _‘Ray will pick you up in five. He won’t be waiting for you, so make sure that you’re ready. Don’t wet the carpet.’_ Good old Harvey at his best.

 

The elevator ride had felt familiair. Not that it was surprising, but still. He noticed, and that was quite something. Before he had turned to Harvey, he had felt numb, bereft. The ache in his chest, the dull feeling of something that was ripped out of him, was still there, but it was somehow more bearable, more tolerable. Perhaps it was the fact that he and Rachel had been living separate lives for far too long. Sure, he had loved her, and maybe still did, but her betrayal had been so unexpected, because he had trusted her, and it made him doubt himself. How could he not have loved and trusted her ten, after her countless affirmations that there was nothing between Logan and her. Maybe that’s what made it hurt so much; she had humiliated him, by tricking him to believe what she wanted him to believe.. He had been far too gullible.

 

Thirty seconds later, the elevator doors slid open, and Harvey was waiting for him. Being lost in thoughts, with a worrisome expression on his face, he didn’t see the older man standing there, until he heard someone call his name. “Mike? Hey, Mike! Earth to Michael, where are you?” Mike didn’t snap out of it until Harvey carefully touched his upper arm. “Mike, hey, you okay buddy?” Mike looked at him, hazy, his vision blurry. He cautiously shook his head a bit, trying to clear it. Once the mist had lifted, to reveal a patiently waiting Harvey Specter, he made an attempt to smile up at him. And failed, miserably. Deciding not to let his caring show in public here at the office, and because Mike probably didn’t want to be the center of attention, Harvey decided not to question him. He probably had had a troublesome night sleeping, and wasn’t feeling so well, which was only logical, given the circumstances. So instead of trying to cheer the younger man up and make him feel better, he turned towards the corridor that led to his office, leaving Mike to follow him. Which he did. But not in a confident kind of way; he was literally dragging his feet along. And Harvey noticed, but decided not to mention it. When they reached the red head secretary’s cubicle, Donna gave Mike an assuring smile, before he walked past her and followed Harvey into the office.

 

Motioning the younger man to sit down, he took his familiar spot behind his desk and grabbed a set of papers. As the younger man leaned down into the soft leather of the expensive couch, Harvey stood once again and walked over towards one of the chairs in front of the couch, and laid down the set of papers on the coffee table between them. Clearing his throat to catch Mike’s attention, he sat down after unbottoning his suit jacket. Mike couldn’t help but notice, for the first time that morning, that Harvey was wearing lavender again, just as he had done the day Mike found out he might lose his job after his dinner with Jessica Pearson, but Harvey had stood up for him, which he had done so many times, Mike had lost track. And Mike was more than grateful for that.

 

“Mike, like I said, Jessica and I have had a talk this morning. It was about you.” Mike immediately sat up straighter. Harvey and Jessica had talked about him. What about him? Harvey sensed the change in the younger man, but decided not to mention anything about it, and continued undisturbed, as if this was just your typical casual conversation. “I want you.. I would like you to return to the company, Mike. I’d like to rehire you as my personal associate.” Geez Specter, pull yourself together. This is a business conversation, for crying out loud.

 

“Your..Personal.. But, but what about Rachel?” Mike wasn’t going to lie; he’d love to get back at the company and work with Harvey and Donna again. No matter the gossip or the strange faces he’d get from the other associates or even Louis, he could take that. But Rachel, he didn’t think he was ready to see her on a day-to-day basis, especially not now, after kicking her out after almost a year of living together. Mike was clearly stressed out, and Harvey leaned over the table and took Mike’s hand in his own. “It’ll be fi–”

 

Before Harvey could finish his sentence, the glass door to Harvey’s office flew open, revealing a very much distressed and beaten up Logan Sanders, a furiously looking Donna right behind him. “I’m sorry Harvey, he just came out of nowhere, demanding to see you,” she apologized, her big brown eyes never leaving the back of Logan’s head, as if she was throwing daggers at him through her eyes.

 

Harvey sighed and closed his eyes for a split second. Great, bring in the entire parade. His day couldn’t get any worse now. “What in hell are you doing here?” Logan nearly spit on the ground in all his anger, his eyes nearly falling out of their sockets, as he gazed down at Mike, heat evidently radiating from him, his hands clenched into fists. Mike got up from the couch, but before he could say or do anything, Harvey came to stand between the two men and faced a seething Logan Sanders. “I might ask you the same thing, Logan. Now get out, you see I’m not available to you right now. I haven’t got time, so you can leave.” Harvey’s face didn’t betray anything. His looks were blank, but determined. he had to get Logan Sanders out of his office as quicky as humanely possible; the last thing he wanted, was witnessing Mike and Logan get into a fight together, here, in his office. Harvey made sure to hold Logan’s gaze in his own, as he spoke to Donna. “Donna, please accompany Mr Sanders out of my office, and see to it that he makes it to the elevators within two minutes.”

 

But Logan would have nothing of that. He stood his ground, and folded his arms in front of his chest. “Harvey, you know as well as I do that I can’t let this go so easily.” Harvey all but quirked his eyebrow at this. “So? As far as I’m concerned, you are the one that crossed a line here. And you’re doing it again. I’m busy, and I want you to get out of my face. Right. Now.” With Harvey practically glaring him out of the office, Logan slowly turned around, keeping eye contact with Mike. After Donna had closed the door behind them, Harvey turned to Mike once again, who was still standing, his eyes closed, his lips pressed into a tight line. “Mike, I…”

 

“No, Harvey, please. I.. I appreciate the offer, very much, but.. I’m not sure if I’m ready. You obviously are still dealing with Logan Sanders, and as long as that business isn’t settled yet, I’m not sure if I can come and work for you.” If Harvey was being honest, he fully understood Mike’s reaction, maybe even expected the younger man to react exactly as he had done, but that didn’t mean he’d like it. “What? Oh come on, Mike, don’t be so ridiculous…”

 

“Am I?” Mike looked up at him, with his piercing blue eyes. Harvey suddenly wondered if he had been right to bring Mike here. Perhaps it would have been better to meet him up at his condo or back at the coffee cart, a bar or restaurant.. Anything but here at Pearson Specter. But the damage had already been done, and he had unintentionally brought both men in the same room again, something he knew Mike had wanted to avoid, especially within the walls of Pearson Specter. With a sigh, Harvey shoved his hands in his pockets. “No. You’re not. Look, Mike.. I’m-”

 

“I don’t want you to apologize to me, Harvey. Just.. Give me some time to think things through, okay?” And with a pat on Harvey’s back, he went out towards the elevators. Unfortunately, he ran into an unpleasant surprise when he neared the receptionist’s desk; Logan Sanders was still there. He thought Donna was going to see him out? Considering walking past the other man to avoid getting his attention, as he had turned his back towards the corridor Mike was coming from, Mike slowed down, and tried to walk as leisurely as possible to the elevators. Unfortunately, he learned for the umpteenth time that day that his luck had long since run out; just as he was about to walk past Logan Sanders, the other man turned around to leave as well, and they nearly crashed into eachother. “Hey! Watch where you- Ross!”

 

A devilish grin appeared on the otherwise quite handsome face of Logan Sanders. “Where are you off to in such a hurry?” Mike looked him up and down, his eyes clearly showing how much he despised the man. “None of your fucking business, Sanders.”

 

The man scolded, acting to be hurt by Mike’s outburst. “Tsk tsk. Such bad language for such a principled man, I mean look at you! Former lawyer, former investment banker.. What’s next, Michael? Mother Teresa?” Mike stepped closer, and pointed a finger at the other man. “Mock me all you want, Sanders, but you stay the hell away from Rachel,” he warned, which caused Logan Sanders to snicker even louder. “And what do you care? You kicked her out, dumbass. She’s not your concern anymore. I thought you were a Harvard graduate.. Tell me, what does the law exactly say about giving up what someone presumes is his?” Mike grimaced, his hands clenched into fists by his side. ”She’s no one’s property, you…” And just as Mike was about to make another insulting remark of his own, a movement down the hall caught their eye; Rachel was coming their way. Not in the mood to add any more extra awkwardness to the situation, Mike turned away to push the button, but kept his eyes on Logan, his self-assured gaze never wavering. The last thing he wanted, was Logan to think he would be going down without a fight, but it wasn’t worth it, not here, not in front of the entire office to see. Luckily, the elevator arrived before Rachel made it to the receptionist’s desk, and he rode down all fifty floors in relative rest. Closing his eyes as he leaned back and let his head rest against the cool glass, he sighed. Thank God it hadn’t ended up in some sort of scene. Although he would have liked to kick the smug bastard’s face a second time, he knew it would be a dumb thing to do, especially to Harvey… He had been so kind and understanding, he owed him that much. Shit. He hadn’t even thanked the man for letting Mike stay the night at his condo. What a thankful guest he was. Way to go, Ross.

 

Too lost in thought, he hadn’t noticed the elevator doors were already closing again; he had reached the lobby nearly thirty seconds ago. He sighed and shook his head. He should be paying more attention, get his head back together. And just as he left the elevator and walked towards the exit, he heard a familiar voice call out his name. Rachel. Just what he needed. Not bothering to turn around and wait for her, he kept a steady pace until he nearly reached the glass revolving doors. That’s when she reached him, and grabbed his arm to put him to a halt. “Mike please, I’ve made a huge mistake..” At that exact same moment, Mike turned around and faced her, his cold eyes piercing into hers, making her forget what she was about to say. ”We’re done,” was all he said to her, snd it was enough, to him at least. Without any difficulty, he released his arm from her weak grip, and turned away from her, acting abruptly as if her touch burned him. They were done, for good.

 

He decided he’d better put his free time to good use and try and pack a suitcase with some clothes, toiletries and some essential personal belongings, like his iPod and his phone. He thought it better to just go somewhere else for the time being, not being able to stay for too long at he apartment he had once bought for his Grammy. Once he turned his key in the lock and opened the front door, the place felt stifling, dim and nothing like home at all. He couldn’t even remember what it felt like, to be home, to belong somewhere, with someone. He knew it was kind of ridiculous to feel that way, but Rachel’s betrayal had wounded him, more than he had thought possible. And even though it was still his house, as it had been registered on his name, it wasn’t his home anymore. He couldn’t bear to look at their dining room table and remember the previous night, when his whole world had come crushing down on him, the remainings scattered aross the floor at his feet. He couldn’t possibly look at their couch or in the general direction of their bedroom, without remembering the various times they had watched a movie together, tangled into each other’s arms, or the many times they had made love, leisurely or furiously. It all hurt too much, because he didn’t just remember the good things. No, the images of their playful frolicking, the heated moments between the sheets, or their childish attempts at stealing from eachother’s plates, were all somewhat hazy, as they were overshadowed by the disturbing memories of Rachel’s tears, Logan Sanders’ smug face, and a whole lot of other things he’d rather not think about at the moment.

 

He had pulled some t-shirts, jeans and socks from a drawer, and right as he turned to get some underwear from the top drawer, he heard a knock on the door. Deciding to ignore it, f iguring it was probably some nosy neighbour who had possibly heard Rachel and his emotional exchange yesterday, he opened the drawer and took a small stack of boxer shorts. However, his uninvited guest was persistent, and knocked second time, only louder. Annoyed, he tossed his boxer shorts in the general direction of his suitcase and turned to walk towards the door to open it.

 

To say that he was amazed was a bit of an understatement, because Harvey Specter was one of the last persons he had imagined standing there on the other side of his doorstep. “Harvey, what are you doing here?”

 

“Peddling.”

 

“Peddling?”

 

“P-E-double D-L-I-N-G.”

 

“I know how to spell, thank you very much. But Harvey Specter doesn’t do peddling.”

 

“Depends on the offer. And how would you know, mister weisenheimer? I’m the best closer in New York City.”

 

Mike rolled his eyes, then shrugged, and stepped aside to let Harvey in, who had a smug smile on his face, his hands shoved into the pockets of his pants. “Forget it Specter, you won’t close me. Not today. We already discussed this, and I told you I’m not ready yet.”

 

Mike led the way towards the living room, and sat down on the couch, facing Harvey and the front door. No way this was going to be a pleasant gathering between two old friends who had some catching up to do, with coffee, cake and whatever. Mike wanted to leave, to put as much distance between himself and this place as possible. He also wanted to be away from Harvey, but not because of their rather unsuccessful exchange at the office this morning. God, he couldn’t possibly try to explain how much he longed to be working again at Pearson Specter, to work with Harvey, side by side, as if the last eight months never happened. He longed for their bantering, their forever ungoing cycle of reciting ovie quotes, their easy friendship, their brotherhood.. But in truth, it was so much more than that. At least for Mike. Leaving the firm, not seeing Harvey almost every hour of every day anymore, had made it somewhat easier for Mike to live with his feelings for Harvey, and give his relationship with Rachel his all. But last night, when he spent the night at Harvey’s, he knew for sure that he’d only been fooling himself. It was only a matter in time until his feelings for the older man reached the surface again, and Mike was pretty sure that Rachel’s betrayal was the cause. Because Mike tried as best as he possibly could, and was more than succesful actually, in burying his feelings for Harvey while he had been together with Rachel. Because he had valued what they had, had been far too happy to jeopardize his love for and relationship with Rachel for a man who, as far as he knew, didn’t do relationships. Not with women, so why would he take the plunge and be with a man? Any man, not just Mike. He didn’t stand a chance. His mind knew, but his heart was still hopeful, fluttering wildly in his chest, which made Mike doubt whether Harvey could possibly hear it.

 

Harvey however, was oblivious to Mike’s whirlwind of emotions. He sat down on a nearby chair, which was a lot more comfortable than the old crappy chairs Mike used to own in his shitty excuse of an appartment back in Brooklyn. “Mike, about what happened earlier..”

 

“Harvey, please..” Mike almost pleaded with him, not in the mood to relive the rather hurtful scene in Harvey’s office that had taken place that morning.

 

“No Mike, let me finish,” Harvey interrupted, unmoved, though he understood what Mike had to be feeling. “This morning, in my office.. Logan… That never should have happened.” Mike gave a humorless chuckle as response, but Harvey continued, undisturbed. “I guess I should have known better than to drag you up to my office, instead of meeting you in a bar nearby, or at home..” Harvey watched the younger man’s face intently, hoping to catch a glimmer of some sort emotion, but the man who had once been an open book to him, didn’t react at all, not a flicker of surprise in his blue eyes at Harvey’s choice of words, and he felt a sudden pang of disappointment deep down. Maybe he was pushing Mike too far. Maybe he should take it slow, let Mike get accustomed to his current situation, though Harvey sensed it wasn’t doing him any good. It was a relieve the kid hadn’t suffered from a panick attack during the last couple of hours, though Harvey sensed it was only a matter of time until Mike snapped, and started tumbling down the emotional high wire he was currently balancing on.

 

He was right about one thing at least; Mike was indeed close to a mental breakdown, as he was barely keeping his emotions in check. Part of him wanted to get up, run towards Harvey and throw himself in the older man’s strong embrace. Another part of him longed to run right past him, out of the door, away from everything. To crawl into a corner, curl into a ball and pray to finally wake up from this horrible nightmare. Both options were very tempting. Instead, he remained seated, his hands clasped in his lap, looking passively at Harvey. But on the inside, his emotions, feelings and insecurities were all one big mess. Home? His? Harvey’s? What was he implying? This was an unwelcome addition to the turmoil inside of him. Harvey was always clear about what he meant, what he wanted, when and where. These insinuations, whether earnest and on purpose or not, were like a warm blanket, and at the same time, a slap in his face.

 

“So, what was it you wanted to discuss with me then? Something you forgot to mention?” Mike turned his attention to his fiddling hands which still lay clasped in his lap, thus missing Harvey’s sympathetic gaze. 

 

“Sort of. Mike, I’d like you to reconsider. Please come back at the firm, we’ll work it out, I promise.”

 

Mike’s head shot up at his words, his eyes ablaze. ”Work it out? Work what out, Harvey? Logan? Rachel? Jessica? The fact that I’m a fraud? Harvey, believe me, part of me really wants to come back, practice law, to do what I love, but… Alright. Let’s just say that I come back, that I let you rehire me…” He held Harvey’s gaze for a minute, before continuing, ”You have no idea what it is, to have been a fraud, and have to start all over. What’s even worse, is that I’m going back to the place where I first learned that I could be more than a lowdown potdealer.. Because it’s the place where I fell in love. Madly, deeply, and hopelessly. And I can’t get rid of my feelings Harvey, if I keep seeing the one person that has caused all these feelings, on a day-to-day basis. Because, really, Harvey? Despite everything that happened between us, and all the time that has passed, those feeling are still there, deep down. They’re a part of me, and I can’t get rid of them, even though I know it’s way out of line if I give in to my feelings..”

 

Harvey immediately shook his head, his lips pressed together in a determined line. “Rachel won’t be much of a problem, Mike. She will be at school for at least half of the time, and you won’t have to run into eachother if you don’t want to. Besides, since she invested quite some extra time into a certain, er, ‘case’, she will need some time off to prepare for her re-examinations. Furthermore, there will be some sort of sanction, probably a temporary suspension because of her recent unprofessional behavior with one of our -nearly- former clients. Despite their former relationship, she should have known better than.. To do what she has done. They both should have known better.”

 

Mike nodded, as he was trying to process everything Harvey had said to him. The lawyer, who considered himself a people’s reader, had obviously failed to understand the meaning behind Mike’s words, and he had left out any names on purpose. Perhaps it had only beena logical assumption on Harvey’s side that Mike had meant Rachel during his brief monologue. He couldn’t have been more wrong. Mike was absolutely certain now, that he was in love with the man sitting there, opposite from him. He had been for a long time, and figured he might have fallen for him a little that first day when they met, when Harvey had reached out and shook his hand… That was the moment Mike could have sworn he had felt his whole world freeze for only a millisecond, but it had been long enough for Mike to notice. In that exact same moment, his briefcase had decided it had served long enough, which resulted into a huge amount of pot rolling around the floor. It felt like a lifetime ago. Harvey had showed him, numerous times, that he could be so much more than a mere highschool drop out. Through his guidance, Mike had gotten to enter a world that had been so new, and yet so familiar. Like Harvey had told him before, he had been offered a chance to play in the major leagues, and he had been right. He had had the opportunity to walk with giants. But was it enough to merely walk with a giant like Harvey?

 

“You’ll have my answer by tomorrow morning, Harvey.” Harvey stoically accepted Mike’s dismissal. He figured that, if Mike decided he was ready, he would find his way to him. Both professionally and personally. Nodding his silent agreement, Harvey reached out and clapped him on the back. “Fine. Just take it easy, okay?”, and he nodded towards the open suitcase lying on the ground. “Will do,” was all he got for a reply, and Mike tried and failed miserably to copy Harvey’s small smile. “I’ll see myself out.” And with that, Mike was alone again.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this fic when I was on holiday, without WiFi connection etc., so I had no opportunity to watch 'We're Done'. Hence this work is based on the promo. It got a bit too big to post it all in one time, and I'm not finished yet, so.. I figured I should go ahead and post the first part.
> 
> I'm not completely satisfied with it, but it'll just have to do. Really hope you guys like it!


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